Seleção e Juiz

Information. Overload.

 

…lahat ng bagay may wakas~

01. Claustrophobia – Suffocation
Migraine. Blodshot eyes. Darkness\ everywhere. Goin off the deep end. Insomnia. Ill effects of a terrible break up. But it’s gonna be OK. No matter how funky things may get, you will get through this.

02. STOP dwelling
on the past. It shows no good. It causes wrinkles. Start resisting what is yet to suffer. Smile. Laugh. You’ll look better. Really!

03. Leave yesterday behind
If Keno did it, so can you! Chalk it up to experience. Use it all as your reference when you dispense advice to other needy souls who made wrong turns along the highway of love.

04. Learn
from the mistakes of your heart. Broken hearts can be mended. Wounds build character. Open the doors that you have once shut. Not doing so will make you old and grumpy. Be open to being.

05. Move forward
History is called such for a reason. It’s meant to stay in the past to be studied and be learnt from. It’s better than standing still. Even better than rolling backwards. Tomorrow is another day. The rest of the story of your life remains unwritten.

Running away
Embrace your future

Stonefree – Langit

masikip na kuwarto, pigil na hininga,
sakit ng ulo, pagluha ng mata,
madilim na paligid, magulo ang isip,
di makatulog, parusang malupit!

iwan ang kahapon, harapin mo ang bukas,
lahat ng bagay may wakas.

nangungulila, sa pag-ibig mong lubos,
sigaw ng damdamin, biglang napaos,
ayaw pumiglas, sa’king pagkatali,
tanggapin ang lahat, ng ‘di na maulit!

iwan ang kahapon, harapin mo ang bukas,
lahat ng bagay may wakas.

maling pag-ibig ay dapat kalimutan,
saradong pinto’y muling buksan.

madilim na kahapon, ay lumiwanag,
mga problema’y nawala nang lahat,
napawi ang luha, lamig ay uminit,
luminaw ang isip, nakita ang langit!

iwan ang kahapon, harapin mo ang bukas,
lahat ng bagay may wakas.
iwan ang kahapon, harapin mo ang bukas,
lahat ng bagay may wakas.

 

STOP! rewind… PAUSE! play~

[Photo by: Amcel Ong]

I haven’t been practicing or learning new things about cards since I’ve started working again. It’s not that I don’t want to learn, I’ve been just too busy. A lot is happening right now and I’m removing some distractions one by one.

I love cards! I love flourishing! I love magic!
But I think that’s not enough.

For now, I think it’s better for me to pause for a while. Just like what happened to me before, suddenly pausing from the music industry. I need to focus on the things in front of me now. With the normal human lifespan, it’s not enough to learn everything you want. It’s okay. Probably I’ll return to this part of my life when all goes well. After all, it was my own decision to learn about cards anyway.

Cardistry is fun… but there are some things that made me think otherwise.

I think of the art as something that would make me feel happy and also others happy.
I look at it as something that I can call a hobby.
I can never look at it in a professional way.

People often mistake professionalism as something that they are good at. In a sense, it looks like that they incorporate “being professional” to the point that they look down on people who just wants to learn it since it’s fun and happy. Isn’t that being an “elitist” instead?

Being professional means you are gaining income from it, thus it means that it’s now “work” and not a “hobby”.

I on the other hand, thinks of it as something that I can present or perform as something really random to anyone by any means. It’s a good hobby for me since I’m supposed to be having fun while learning it. I can never label cardistry to be something that I can gain income.

People may react on this, but I really don’t care. You guys are good at what you’re doing, I respect you guys for that. Everybody has a say, right? I want to have fun, that’s all. And I’m not having fun anymore because of the stereotype that’s been going around lately.

Maybe I’m not supposed to be in that industry, right?
I think I’m better off learning them on my own since I’ll be intrigued more and would be able to retain them in my mind. Like, learning them at my own pace. I don’t need a bunch of know-hows inserted on my mind. That’s not how people learn. Believe me, I know learning. A person can’t really learn like that. You need to grab the idea as a whole and slowly set your mind to it.

There’s no point in learning it really fast. We’re not on a race called “The Person Who Can Learn Fast Will Be Successful”. So there’s no point in rushing them. There will be a time when I will get back to learning card flourishes and tricks. I really need a rest from all these things. Thank you.

So, in pausing…

I think I’d want to return to music again. I haven’t really played or learned anything for years already. Suddenly, my passion for music was triggered again for some time now. I want to play my guitar again. I want to learn new songs. I want to recall everything. It’s gonna be hard, but I want to relearn everything again.

In the end, everything is always my decision.

 

disOrganize?

I have told myself that if after I assemble my new desktop, I would be organized and will be fixing my files and all that. haha!

Procrastination at its finest~ :P

My new desktop (or at least the CPU), which I named “yamapi“, had been put to use since yesterday (February 5, 2010 F). woot!

The thing is, I’m still lazy to personalize this and to transfer my files to its harddrive. haha! I don’t know. haha Maybe I’m still waiting for the table that I’d buy in a few days, plus a monitor that I’ll also purchase from one of my friends. :P Then maybe, after that I’d be more relaxed and organized. haha

Well, lately I had a lot of thoughts coming through my mind. haha! I wanna write about them soon. Too bad I’m really lazy today. haha! Well, kind of lazy coz’ I’m typing this now. haha!

Anyways, will update my blog soon enough XD
I promise!^^

 

Cleaning Time

Yea~! So I’m cleaning my room right now. I need to clean it. haha! Haven’t “really” cleaned my extreme epic messy room. haha! I remember when I was online on YM and would have to open my webcam, all my friends kept on telling me to clean my room already coz’ they can see all the junk and mess from the view. HAHA!

Anyways, I kinda needed to pause for a moment. Rest~ haha!

I just threw out 200+ pieces of my handmade white paper cranes. I left around 65 pieces though since we’re gonna use some on a random photoshoot in a few hours. LOL and I’m still wide awake here hahaha!

A lot of mess, I threw about one big “balikbayan” box full of mess, papers, and some stuffs that I don’t really need now. Organized my school papers and stuffs into envelopes. HAHA! yea~ I do that lols~ :P

Well, you won’t see the mess from this view of the camera~ hehehe~ coz’ that part’s already been errrr… organized? well, a bit lols!

I still have to sweep the floor in a while, then move some of my things to another part of my room. hahaha!

Oh yea~ I found my long lost mp3 player somewhere buried in all the mess. lols~ So yea, I was listening to my playlist from a year ago while cleaning. hehe~

I must say, it’s nicer to clean at night. No one bothers me. hahaha! XD

Well, why am I cleaning my room? After having my room for like that for over a year now, do I have a reason to really clean it like that? I mean, I was just sick since last week. And the moment I got a little better I’m doing this. hehe~

hmmm~ well, actually… I’m preparing for my new love to arrive. WOOT!

I had my cousin, Kuya Cris, assemble a desktop for me since my laptop broke down just this December. D: So yea, goodbye salary. HAHAHAHA!

I’m gonna name my new desktop “yamapi” since I love yamapi so much~
heehee~ :P

Anyways, gotta go~ it’s 4:44am according to this pc’s clock. haha! and I still have much to do. Plus I need to go to school in a while and go to a photoshoot afterwards lol~ :P