[Photo by: Amcel Ong]
I haven’t been practicing or learning new things about cards since I’ve started working again. It’s not that I don’t want to learn, I’ve been just too busy. A lot is happening right now and I’m removing some distractions one by one.
I love cards! I love flourishing! I love magic!
But I think that’s not enough.
For now, I think it’s better for me to pause for a while. Just like what happened to me before, suddenly pausing from the music industry. I need to focus on the things in front of me now. With the normal human lifespan, it’s not enough to learn everything you want. It’s okay. Probably I’ll return to this part of my life when all goes well. After all, it was my own decision to learn about cards anyway.
Cardistry is fun… but there are some things that made me think otherwise.
I think of the art as something that would make me feel happy and also others happy.
I look at it as something that I can call a hobby.
I can never look at it in a professional way.
People often mistake professionalism as something that they are good at. In a sense, it looks like that they incorporate “being professional” to the point that they look down on people who just wants to learn it since it’s fun and happy. Isn’t that being an “elitist” instead?
Being professional means you are gaining income from it, thus it means that it’s now “work” and not a “hobby”.
I on the other hand, thinks of it as something that I can present or perform as something really random to anyone by any means. It’s a good hobby for me since I’m supposed to be having fun while learning it. I can never label cardistry to be something that I can gain income.
People may react on this, but I really don’t care. You guys are good at what you’re doing, I respect you guys for that. Everybody has a say, right? I want to have fun, that’s all. And I’m not having fun anymore because of the stereotype that’s been going around lately.
Maybe I’m not supposed to be in that industry, right?
I think I’m better off learning them on my own since I’ll be intrigued more and would be able to retain them in my mind. Like, learning them at my own pace. I don’t need a bunch of know-hows inserted on my mind. That’s not how people learn. Believe me, I know learning. A person can’t really learn like that. You need to grab the idea as a whole and slowly set your mind to it.
There’s no point in learning it really fast. We’re not on a race called “The Person Who Can Learn Fast Will Be Successful”. So there’s no point in rushing them. There will be a time when I will get back to learning card flourishes and tricks. I really need a rest from all these things. Thank you.
So, in pausing…
I think I’d want to return to music again. I haven’t really played or learned anything for years already. Suddenly, my passion for music was triggered again for some time now. I want to play my guitar again. I want to learn new songs. I want to recall everything. It’s gonna be hard, but I want to relearn everything again.
In the end, everything is always my decision.
on random notes of parchment… 